L'Chaim

Overwhelmed with Inadequacy

“Unreality in religion is an accursed thing.”  -J.J. Packer

Packer explores our inward trials as Christians in this chapter of his book Knowing God. Christianity is often portrayed as a cake walk. Give your life to Jesus, and He will make your life easy. Our selfish human hearts wish that were the case. The reality is, though, that God has given us new life by His grace, and His grace alone. The sole purpose of his grace was so that He may be glorified through a restored relationship with us. It seems logical then, that upon receiving His grace we would resign our lives without question, leaving the Potter to mold us as He sees fit. I know this doesn’t always happen in my own life. In fact, right now I’m wrestling with the why’s of this curvy, winding road. I’m realizing, though, that God wants us to realize that life is “rough and perplexing, so that we may learn to thankfully lean on him.” The bumps, trials, and heartaches are not by accident. Do not be deceived by such folly. Each situation in our lives, lies sovereignly in the hands our God, and each exists so that we shall learn to hold Him fast. I pray that through each season of life, my character would be built, my faith strengthened, and my morals crystallized. 

Reminders

Jeremiah 31:25

“For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.”

Jeremiah 32:41 

“I will rejoice in doing them good, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all my heart and all my soul.”

Someone please remind me why I would choose to wander from a God who promises these things. The same God who calls us to love Him with all of our heart, mind, and soul, pledges his faithfulness with His entire heart and soul. 

Day 5

I’m thankful that God’s mercies are new every morning. It is a good, good thing to know this truth. 

Day 4

I’m thankful for the way God uses people to speak into our lives. Tonight my aunt was coming through Bozeman and she dropped off some chocolate banana cookies. My grandma sent them down because she knows they are my favorite. We chatted for a few minutes, and she got a little choked up as she referred back to a conversation we had had a few months ago. I won’t bore you with all the details, but she was just encouraging me to keep a soft heart, especially toward my dad. Long story short, I was reminded that just because people don’t love us in the exact way we would like, doesn’t mean they don’t love us. 

Day 3

Today is my mom’s birthday. In honor of that, I thought I would share a few reasons why I am so thankful for her. Believe me, there are many more, but we don’t have time for that. 

She loves the craziest people.

She’s independent.

She’s strong.

She’s not afraid to try new things.

She is the definition of a go-getter.

She taught me how to journal.

She is a servant; time and time again she lays aside her personal schedule.

She challenges and does not enable.

She always believes in me. Always has.

She never gives up one me.

She makes a house a home.

She works hard.

She has the best sense of humor.

She always loves a full house.

She has the gift of hospitality.

She led me to Jesus. 

Day 2

Today I’m thankful for fresh perspectives. I’m sure you’ve heard it said that the only thing constant in this life is change, and I think Montana’s weather illustrates this principle wonderfully. It is, in my opinion, one of the state’s best attributes. Picture windows layered with frost soon are washed by pattering rain in the spring. This rain fills ponds upon which the summer sun reflects. Clouds slide obscurely over the top of this sun, and the leaves begin to fall.

Whenever I think about the changing of seasons, I flashback to driving my dad’s stick shift pickup on the rough back roads of our ranch.  As the engine started to strain, I’d press down the clutch and reach down to grab another gear. No matter if I was shifting up or down, the strained engine was relieved and welcomed the altered speed. Perhaps that’s why I love fall. It’s a nice change of pace-not necessarily slower, but different. And differences have the ability to challenge us to wipe off our lenses.

This morning when I woke up, I felt the familiar crisp sneaking into the air. Smiling, I grabbed my scarf, put on my roommates boots, and took a deep breath as I walked out the door. 

clean and bright.

i think i’m learning a lot lately about transparency.  how important it is in order to be completely real. it’s scary, though, you know? i mean i have flaws. a lot of them actually. and i more often tend to fear man rather than god. but i’m also tired of trying to please people instead of the lord. i was recently told that we must have compassion on ourselves if we wish to have compassion for others. so let’s accept that we aren’t perfect. it makes god that much praiseworthy. and maybe when we begin to do so, we’ll be clean and bright. heck, we may even begin to love well. 

Thirty Days of Thanks.

I’ve decided to commit to thirty days of thanks. Often, I wake up in the morning and start to dread the full day of class ahead, or obligations I have to fulfill. I forget to remember how stinking blessed I’ve been. Maybe making an effort to write down one thing per day will help shift my perspective. Who knows, maybe yours will shift too. 

Day 1:

I’m thankful for freshman. There is something about the way they wander around on campus, trying  to find their way into unfamiliar buildings on an unfamiliar campus in an unfamiliar town. Their eyes are sharp, and their minds not dulled by routine. I am inspired by their excitement, their questions, and their dreams.

Last night we had a few girls over to our home. We baked brownies, danced to ridiculous music, and laughed until our bellies ached. I so badly long for real community to develop. A body that can encourage, challenge, and love honestly. The book of Acts talks a lot about what the fellowship of the believers should look like. Luke writes that the community he was part of then was “of one heart and one soul.” They basically considered nothing their own, but realized they had everything in common—Jesus. He is everything. 

the principle of multiplication.

notes from a staff meeting last night that i wanted to share.

would we be able to stand before god and say, “yes, the things i’ve done, i want others to do” ? are we living our lives in such a way that others see, follow, and it’s a good thing. 2 timothy tells us that paul was able to say this. in chapter 2 he talks about entrusting the truth to “faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” he then lists three different types of people who’s characteristics we are to display. 

1) soldier. sacrifice. sacrifice. and sacrifice. 

2) athlete. we must compete according to the rules. here’s the kicker, we don’t make the rules. the race that i’m running has been laid out just for me. 

3) farmer. we do whatever we must to cultivate the word of god in people.

are we an example? a living sacrifice? a competitor for the lord? a diligent worker? are we sensitive to timing? are we practicing our walk daily? are we being coached? are being disciplined?

small worlds.

i just have to say that today may have been one of the best days. took a little trip to spearfish with some fellow staff just to get away and rest. happened to be that i got to see to see bre, as she just finished working fca camp and was staying an extra night. so not only did i get to see her, but also a handful of people i had worked with two years ago at the same camp. it brought so much joy into my heart to see these people still following hard after the lord. encouraged and refreshed, i was reflecting on how small this big ol’ world really is. love god, love people. 

not skilled to understand.

i can’t imagine being anywhere other than where i am this summer. funny how the lord works. ekalaka mt was the. last. place. i was going to spend ten weeks of my life. but oh, how i have been blessed. and we’re only three weeks in. the job i have is made for me. so cool how the lord works that out! i have three girls for eight weeks. they are my ‘counselors in training’ - and they are wonderful. nonetheless, i’m wondering exactly how to lead these girls well. more importantly, how to love them well. i’ve been begging the lord for wisdom and compassion. bob told us the other day that ‘we love out of the overflow of a full life.’ and man the lord has been faithful in giving me a full life! i hope now that i, like paul, may be continued to be poured out like a drink offering. my biggest hope is that their hearts (and mine!) would be burdened. that we would have hard knees, quiet spirits, and find rest in the lord alone. that we would have all stepped over the line, our pace set, our gait fast, our goal heaven.